GOP Worries Electorate Will Catch On to Bigoted Campaign This Year

Top Republican strategists are working hard to create a new campaign for the upcoming election that will better hide it's racial and misogynistic dog whistles which have often gone unchallenged in past races. Catalyzing this change, the prospect of running against either the first African American or first female presidential candidate.

To this end, the Republican National Committee has begun funding polls and focus groups designed to see just how conscious the electorate will be of various race-baiting and sexist remarks it has planned for its negative campaigning. This effort demonstrates the major risks for a party that has criticized minorities for decades.

This project is so secret at this point, we were only able to secure one strategist who happily told us every detail of the program, and who says the work ahead will be very delicate. Republicans will be told to be "subtle" and told "not to overtly call attention to their [the eventual Democratic nominee's] minority status." In other words, it is far harder to plant racist innuendo when the candidate himself, rather than people merely associated with him, is the minority being insulted. The GOP realizes they will be increasingly scrutinized and older, well known dog whistles will not be able to pass under the radar. They are mostly concerned over Obama.

"You can't run against Hussein Obama like you can agaisnt Clinton or Kerry." Explained John Kellum, who denies any involvement with the current GOP polling program. "We find ourselves in a very sticky situation, because [Obama's] primary weakness is taboo to mention in the media. McCain has as much as admitted that running on Iraq or most other issues will cause him to lose the election. There are risks in simply claiming Obama has no significant achievements in the Senate because inevitably the Obama-Hagel amendment will come up. That was the amendment to the Military Commision's Act that was designed to close the loophole that allowed the CIA to torture kittens....which McCain ended up voting against after Bush threatened to veto the bill if the amendment was added."

One of the main functions of the research so far has been to form new techniques for associating the eventual democratic nominee with the worst stereotypes of their skincolor/gender. Focus groups were spawned in earnest after GOP strategists found their plan of photo shopping Obama in with groups of Bloodz and Crips received a poor reaction.

"We can't really come out of this completly clean, so it becomes a matter of finding mathematic solutions where the increase in votes from race baiting outweighs the vote deflation from outrage due to our race baiting. Often these 'local maximums,' as we're calling them, are delicate and can become liabilities if not properly vetted."

More and more the team is finding that most negative campaigning will have to come in the form of the standard lefty commie accusations. "The madrassa debacle really killed the opportunity for more legitimate baseless innuendo stating Obama is a muslim. Now pretty much any attack that starts down that path, no matter how subtle can get called on." Rohan Brenner said. "Recent marketing reports for Starbucks also indicate we won't be able to pursue the latte drinker attack like we did in 2004."

Obama being married, the attacks used against Ford will not be effective, and currently the best results have come from screaming "Hussein Obama" over and over again. But these things, an effective smear campaign, do not make and a great deal more research will have to go into what is said and how it's said to get the most bang for their buck.

"We're still the party of ideas. All those ideas just happen to be spawned from fear and paranoia. So, that's what we have to work with."

Calm Before the Storm

Sunday, February 17 1:56 am EST

It has now been 2 hours, 54 minutes and 56.85 seconds since FISA ceased to exist and I'm looking out my window now, not exactly sure where the terrorists plan to strike. Even scarier is the fact the defeatocrats set the bill to expire on Nova Scotia time, like a cruel joke before the end comes. Still, I remain firm and resolved to survive the upcoming assaults. No doubt the terrorists are sending flurries of emails to each other even now, organizing to strike the heart of our nation, but come what I may I will be ready.

I've purchased several carts of bottled water, duct tape, and frozen food, along with a large supply of discounted valentine chocolate from the store. I can't discount the possibility the terrorists will hit local power plants, but all I've managed to do so far is Macgyver a wind up emergency flashlight to power my fridge and microwave. In the morning, if I'm lucky, there will be some gasoline generators still functional in the rubble.

I deeply regret my hesitation, as it was not till yesterday I attempted to get proper protection. The storekeeper was not impressed by the upcoming threat and said there was still a waiting period for a handgun, despite the fact the jihadofacists are here TODAY! I've been watching outside my window for suspicious activity and have already called in a report on a small group of terrorist aged middle eastern men, though it's dark and they may have been Mexicans. Damn those open borders, letting terrorists slip across unhindered and now using cell phones with impunity!

I hope the Democrats are happy with themselves. I can almost hear it, the secret surveillance room in AT&T's corporate headquarters going silent because current law doesn't recognize the internet exists. The entire world wide web is now a vast terrorist recruitment center. I only pray congress will come to its senses come Monday.

Beginning in the morning, I will blog every day when the sun is highest in the sky to rally survivors together. I can provide food, shelter, and protection. I can, at least, be thankful it's still February and cold. The islamomarxists are far more adapted to the heat and our battle will only be harder then. I pray we can provide retroactive telecom immunity before it comes to that, but in this day and age I always prepare for the worst.

For all of you still out there, good luck and God speed.

Smith's Hand: The Growing Evidence Against the Theory of Capitalism

Taken from a speech by Dr. Jeremy Renclain, PHD in biology, Nobel Laureate in Medicine. Original language English, dated May 23, 2007

I would first like to start by thanking the people who have aided me so much in getting the word out on the myths and legends economists have been perpetrating on us for some time. There are too many to mention without fear of excluding someone essential in this movement, but they are all responsible for the honor of granting me this talk.

I am, of course, here to discuss the large myth of capitalism as a theory and the harm caused by pushing capitalism towards our students as guaranteed fact. When you look at it, you'd think the theory was patently ridiculous: random self interest managing not only to cause societal benefit but actually adapt in an ordered way to changing market and environmental conditions. However, neo Smithian thinkers have attempted to thrust this idea upon us, despite the numerous holes in logic and factual bits of information that show how obviously false the theory is.

There are many bits of evidence that show the glaring faults in this theory, but in the past your average Smithian economist will have random facts he will lob back in an attempt to gloss over the flaws of his argument. So it is best to start with a more general case. As a scientist, I am very familiar with the laws of thermodynamics, the second law primarily. For those of you less familiar, the second law says that the amount of entropy in a closed system is always increasing, or more basically, you cannot get order from disorder, things always become less organized.

To take an example, if you have a box full of gas, each of the individual gas molecules will fly around through the box. Each of them has individual trajectories. The second law shows us the particles will become less and less ordered until they equally fill the entire box, getting a base density that's roughly uniform. You would never ever see all the gas molecules spontaneously flow to one end of the box or the other, their actions all even out. However, a capitalist would wish you to believe that this is exactly what happens, that if the molecules were people or markets, that they would all inevitably shift to one side and leave the other alone.


It just simply doesn't hold together. You would never see this happen, the odds of it are so astronomical we'd likely see the heat death of the universe before this phenomena presented itself. But this is what capitalism is, random actors all spontaneously flowing together of their own accord. You can imagine the sides of a box representing different economic situations. With capitalism, individual people, businesses, and governments would all have widely varying policies, creating random chaos resulting in a loss of prosperity. But we see this isn't the case, why not? The other main principle of the second law of thermodynamics is that entropy increases for a closed system. However, in an open system, where the outside environment can effect the system, entropy can be reduced by an appropriate investment of energy.

A Smithian would argue this is the guiding hand, but this theory has such horrible circular logic it's boggles the mind. The guiding hand is supposedly derived from the individual actors, but energy can't be spontaneously created as such. The only rational explanation is external forces push the economy in different directions. We can't be sure exactly what these forces are, but it is obvious to all rational observers there is a sort of Intelligent Control over the Economy. A Smithian will say such an assertion is merely an article of faith, but I would say to believe all those random gas molecules would suddenly flow to one end of the box takes a whole lot more faith than what I am presenting here.

Before I go further into the specific holes and flaws of capitalism, I think we should take what we've learned so far and apply it to our markets. If there is an external, intelligent agent guiding out economy, what does it mean for our actions? With capitalism, you would have no guiding principles, it would be anything and everything goes, leading to chaos. But with are knowledge of an intelligent agent, our view can turn to a far more equitable and just perspective....

A Note Before We Begin

Many posts here will be one part satire, two parts inferential analogy. While satire is fun and useful my main thrust for such posts will be to cast ideas in a new light, allow people to think about issues in ways that will hopefully make them more understanding and informed.

The caveat to this is that no historical reference should ever be seen as a direct translation or accusation by analogy. For example, I could conceivably make a post ostensibly by a German reporter discussing the burning of the Reichstag, it being blamed on communist agitators, and the emergency powers granted afterwards-and use the rhetorical buzzwords and talking points of the current US administration as to why the Patriot Act is so important.

While this would be a horrible example of Godwin's law, and invite no amount of flack.....the point of it would not be to say "Bush is Hitler" but to merely have people reexamine the Patriot act, call to light the fact fear has been used to take away civil liberties before, and once those civil liberties are gone, they are often inevitably abused.

I won't even touch on the fact the Reichstag was actually burned down by the Nazi party as a plot to take control of the government.

Posts would vary based on my mood or however my odd mind sees the relationship of things. Sometimes a post could be pointing out hypocrisy, or merely attempting to show a similar situation with actors or events more sympathetic to an American sensibility, allowing for more appreciation of a current event.